Tuesday, April 19, 2005

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My heart was breaking in half, what have these children gone through? I took the others with me to show the others at home what Marks sisters looked like. It was time to go, Dianna started to cry, and it broke my heart they were all each other had. I told her I would bring Mark back to visit them, I had ask the worker if the girls were going into homes soon she wasn't sure. I assured them I would make sure that they saw Mark often. Mark very willingly climbed into the car seat in the back. I fastened the buckle. He never shed a tear. He didn't show any fear, here I was a complete stranger and he was just going along for the ride.
It was real hard for me to leave the girls behind. I was told they had a lot of emotional problems. Mark needed to be allowed to be on his own. From the very beginning I could tell Mark he'd no need for a "MOM". He just went on about his way, meeting his own needs as best as he could. When we got home Mark walked in the door checking everything out. It seemed as if he was looking for where things were in case he might need something. It was almost time for our own two girls to come home from school on the bus. Amy at the time was nine and Dawn was seven. When I heard the bus pulling up I took Mark outside to meet them. The just thought Mark was the cutest thing. They couldn't understand why he wasn't real cuddly though. The first thing that they wanted to do was hold him. Mark seemed to adjust to the girls real fast. He followed them all over the house. Amy would read to him, and he loved it. Dawn would play with the little cars with him, crawling around on the floor; he made himself at home real easy. When my husband came home from, Mark seemed to be uneasy around him. Mike thought that Mark was just the cutest thing, and was impressed with how smart he seemed. Mark would only stand back and stare at Mike, not making any attempt to get near him. He would pull away if Mike tried to touch or hold him. After a couple of days Mark seemed to be warming up to Mike, he would slowly hand things to him then hurriedly step back to stare at him some more. What could possibly be going through this baby’s mind I'd think? What have the men in this child=s life done to make him so afraid?

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