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while fighting off the others. Trying to be sure I gave everyone of them a chance to sit on my lap. Looking into their eyes, I was overwhelmed; I just had to leave the room. Thinking LORD who does these babies belongs to? Where are their mommies? They should all have mommies that love them, and kiss them, and smother them with hugs. As I left the room all I could hear was a roar of crying, because I had left them behind. I told the woman I was sorry for causing them all to cry. To keep my sanity I knew I could never go into that room again. I knew I couldn't break those kids hearts again. I just couldn't take them all home; Lord knows I wished I could have.
For the next few minutes I just sat in the lobby and tried to catch my breath. Slow deep breaths will calm my heart, I kept thinking.
The door that led out opened and a woman walked in, this is it I thought, and she introduced her self as Mark's worker. She them asked me if I would like to meet Mark? The next thing she said put chills down my back, she said " do you want to check him out before you decide to take him home." What was he a puppy in a pet store window? I thought. I had made a vow to GOD, whatever call I got for children, I would love and care for them. I'd never turn any of them away. This would be the first child the Lord has for me to care for and enjoy. I just wanted to see him and get out of there.
The worker went back into the room that housed all those children that had just climbed all over me and begged me to take them home. Then she came out with this beautiful red-cheeked fat face, he had big brown eyes and blond hair. A little ball of energy I thought, Lord what could this one need from me? The others were so tiny and worse off looking, what about that one little girl with the runny nose? Well I guess you've chosen Mark, I guess I'll find out why soon enough. He seemed so grown up; he just walked around without fear of anything. The worker said before we take Mark away, she wanted to let his sisters know he was leaving and say well by. Sisters? There are sisters?
The worker sent for the girls, this way they could be assured that Mark would be all right. They would at least have some kind of idea of whom he was leaving with. In walked these two little girls one with blond hair the other had red small curls. Mandy was three almost four, she was the blond one and the red head was the older sister Dianna she was five. Dianna took over the role of mommy to her two younger siblings. She was sure to have them obey in the room and fixing their hair out of their eyes. The worker told Dianna that Mark was going to come live at my house for a while, until their mom got things together. The only response Dianna had was for Mark, it was for him to be sure he was a good boy, and then she started to cry. I told her that I would take very good care of her baby brother and love him almost as much as she did. Then I ask if I could take some pictures of the three of them? I had taken a Polaroid camera with me, thinking I would record the happy first moment that we got our first child to bring into our home. I had no idea that I would be recording the very first sad moment in the many to come. I took several pictures of the three of them; I left some with Dianna so she could have pictures of her own. She needed something to hang on to I was taking a piece of her away.